Maybe your father doesn’t wear a wig. We’re speaking metaphorically, of course. Although if he does wear a wig, we sure hope it’s something awesome – like dreadlocks with beads. If not, that’s OK too – he still deserves a sweet Father’s Day gift that he’ll always remember.
JerkySubscription.com has done our due diligence and slapped together some of the best ideas for gifts this side of the globe. Through hundreds of hours of in-depth research, culled data, infographics, spreadsheets and old-timey ledgers, we now have the definitive list of best Father’s Day Gift suggestions.
Also, please note that all we really did was sit in a room with a bunch of delectable jerky, ginger beer and a heap of scrap paper and thought about what we, as fathers, would want. Either way, still some good thoughts below.
1. Private Meet and Greet with Bigfoot
This is definitely the number one gift you could get any father. There are a few obstacles to making it happen, however. You’ll need to prove the existence of Bigfoot, find him, confirm whether he likes to be called Bigfoot, Bigs, Sasquatch or Squatchy and then see if you can make room in his very busy schedule of “creeping around the forest” to meet with your Dad.
2. Premium, Indulgent and Delicious Jerky
Every father in the universe loves jerky. We’ve even heard that there are some Dads in a galaxy a few billion miles away who have perfected black hole jerky. Crazy. But for the father who loves jerky of all kinds, you should consider blowing his mind with the best jerky of all time. JerkySubscription.com has all of the flavors, quality and handcrafted jerky a man could ever want. It’s literally the gift that keeps on giving.
3. Private Tour of Loch Ness
Is this article heavy on mentions of mythological creatures? Hell yes it is. Because frankly, that’s what Dads think about. Imagine how amped up your Dad would be to go out at dusk in a custom built rowboat with nothing but a telescope and a dream. The fog rolls in, it starts to rain a little bit – and boom, the Loch Ness monster goes floating by. Your Dad would look at you, look at Nessie, take a bite of JerkySubscription.com’s delicious premium jerky and say, “Son, this is some great jerky. And take a look at that sea creature there.”
Wow. You’ve done it. The awards were just announced, and you won child of the year. Unbelievable. All of that because you came to a website that sells all sorts of meat jerky, decided to buy some and then the wheels of creativity started to spin.
Who knows what else a subscription to JerkySubscription.com could lead to? Maybe one day you decide you’re going to do other wonderful things for your father. Like use the empty jerky packages to wallpaper his home office. Maybe you’ll be sitting out on the patio, crack open a cold one, throw down a package of jerky on the patio table and he’ll remark, “You’ve always been my favorite.”
Look at that – now all of a sudden your father holds you in such high regard, he’s going to ensure you have the best of everything. First dibs on Thanksgiving meat, the best Christmas present, maybe he’ll even clean your car just because he knows you haven’t done it since the late 1990’s and it smells like an old sea captain has been living in your trunk, smoking a pipe for the last decade.
When it comes to JerkySubscription.com, sky’s the limit.
Your decision to buy a subscription to the finest dried meats might just be the precursor to the life you’ve always wanted – no…the life you deserve.
These are just three suggestions for you to make it the best Father’s Day ever.
Will you choose to make it a memorable Father’s Day? One he’ll never forget? Or will you choose to forget that the day of celebration is coming quickly (June 16), wake up late, rush to the store and get him a greeting card that he’ll throw out as soon as you turn your back?
Do us a favor: don’t turn your back on your pops. He’s good people.
It’s your choice – all we know is no matter what you decide to do – some finely curated, insanely tasty jerky will make everything even better (especially if you can’t track down Bigfoot or Sasquatch).